TerrazaByte's Bloggity Bits

Deep Thoughts

2012-02-16T08:41:00.000-08:00

"I'm trying to comprehend phronemophobia, but I'm frightened of what I may learn about myself."
~Vince Terrazas

I Want To Eat Your Brains!

2012-02-04T23:48:00.000-08:00

ZOMBIETROOPER!

This is what happens when I stay up late, I take pictures of ZOMBIETROOPERS! OMG RUN!

Not your typical winter in Kansas City, MO

2012-01-27T10:16:00.001-08:00

Not your typical winter in Kansas City, MO, a photo by ~TerrazaByte~ on Flickr.

It's been so mild here that the grass is still green.

Via Flickr:
Taken at the Nelson-Atkins Museum of Art - www.nelson-atkins.org/index.cfm

Go See Doctor Specialist For That Doohickey!

2012-01-20T13:07:00.000-08:00

Go See Doctor Specialist For That Doohickey

The Brain Bio & Update of Vincent Terrazas

(Skip to bottom if you know the story and just want the January 2012 update)

PROLOGUE

Every now and then a true story comes along and sounds so far fetched that it teeters on the edge of fiction, this Brain Bio is one of these stories. Within this diatribe I will attempt to explain the eccentric and demented mind of yours truly, Vincent M. Terrazas, as I step through the process of my brain surgery. Beyond these collections of letters grouped in to words, sentences and silly gibberish, the story continues and evolves with each days passing as I learn more about who I am and who I will be.

My aim is to inform you of my condition, update you on the progress and bring awareness to the internal changes I experience. Also, depending on the hour of the night of which I am writing in, I will attempt to make you giggle once or twice with my distorted view of this humorous situation. Hey, I might even reach someone out there that has encountered something similar and provide a valuable tidbit of information about the Brain and Pituitary Tumors.

NARRATIVE

Throughout 2008, I noticed slight changes to my vision and began experiencing more intense migraines then I’ve had before. I’ve had migraines off and on for years as I have a rare form of Glaucoma in my left eye only, called Glaucomatocyclitic Crisis. A few migraines and vision changes are nothing new since I’ve been taking eye drops and a really nasty medicine called Diamox since I was in my early twenties for this. Slight changes in vision and a few headaches are par for the course in my life and unfortunately, I let these symptoms ride for some time before it really started to bother me.

By the time December rolled around, I was spending one night a week in a dark and soundless room trying to hide from the pain. These were some of the worse migraines I’ve ever had. Trust me, if you think you’ve had a bad headache to the point of wanting to drill a hole in your head or eye just to get some relief, then you might just begin to understand the “starting” level of pain in these migraines.

One day in January 2009, I pulled out of the driveway and was about to go on a short trip to somewhere-ville and noticed I couldn’t see fully out of my left eye. The entire left side of that eye was dim and faded into black. That was the moment this crazy ride started down the “Go See Doctor Specialist For That Doohickey” highway.

In order to keep this wordy adventure to under my 50K limit, let me quickly step you through the the next few months chronologically. (And all the readers rejoiced)

JANUARY- APRIL 2009

January- Wrote down a reminder note to make an appointment to Go See Doctor Specialist For That Doohickey, my Glaucoma Eye Doctor and have this looked at.
February- Lost reminder note to make an appointment to Go See Doctor Specialist For That Doohickey. Wrote another one.
Later on in February- Made an appointment to Go See Doctor Specialist For That Doohickey. #WINNING
March- Met with my Glaucoma Eye Doc and after an extensive evaluation, he says: “I see no problem whatsoever with your eye Vince. I think you may need to Go See Doctor Specialist For That Doohickey because you may have had some sort of Stroke or Aneurysm.” I was speechless.. umm, errr, umm...
Later in the day - Called my Primary Care Physician and was able to get in since this was no minor common cold. She was a bit floored as to why I had not called in to be seen before. I was speechless.. umm, errr, umm... She said “Go See Doctor Specialist For That Doohickey”
24 hours later - I was stuck in an MRI tube, pumped up with some cool chemicals that make your brain glow in the dark (not really, it’s called contrast). After 2 hours of GRRRR BrMMMM GRR BrMUMMM, I was told to wake up and that I would have to Go See Doctor Specialist For That Doohickey to get the results.
Another 24 hours later - I became the proud father of a bouncing baby 2.3 centimeter tumor on my pituitary gland. After being told that, I was speechless again umm, errr, umm... That Doc said that I would have to Go See Doctor Specialist For That Doohickey” , a Neurosurgeon!
April- I met with the best Neurosurgeon around and we discussed the scenario. He looked over and over at the brain scans as he made muffled grumbly noises. A few more looks to be sure and then asked me to sit down... and stop staring over his shoulder. Then he said this “I wouldn’t make plans this summer. You’re in need of an escalated Brain Surgery. All your scans, the level of vision you have lost and the amount of discomfort you’re in, say that that puppy needs to come out soon or your going to go blind in that eye or both. (yes, I used “that that” in a sentence and it worked)

Apparently, the scans showed exactly why I was losing my vision and why my headaches became a full blown KISS concert in my head. The upper part of the mass was pushing up into my brain at the point that is called the Optic Chiasm; thus the headaches. This is also the area where your optic nerves crisscross and go into the brain. Part of this tumorous mass was also wrapped around the optic nerve connected to my left eye; thus, the vision loss.

This non-cancerous benign tumor has been in my head for years and normally are very slow growing tumors. For some reason this one thought that this was to slow and began to speed things up a bit. I have my own non-medical reasons for this growth spurt but we’ll get into that later.

THE SURGERY

In early May 2009 I underwent a Transsphenoidal Adenomectomy. This is a type of brain surgery to remove an Adenoma (tumor) from the pituitary gland. I won’t go into the details on this type of surgery, since the method of how they reach the tumor is by making a 3 to 4 inch incision inside your mouth, right where your upper lip meets your upper gums. (The Superior Labial Frenulum) Then they lift up your face and…. umm, I said I wasn’t going to go into any details didn’t I? OK, moving on.

During this procedure, they found that I actually had 2 masses on my pituitary gland, one on top of the other. The tumor underneath had a fully functional blood vessel that could have easily ruptured if not protected by the other overlying tumor. This wasn’t a mere little coincidence and I firmly believe that the power of God's grace was flowing over me, within me and protecting me just as this tumor was protecting the other one underneath. It’s strange to know that something of such potential destruction was actually protecting my life at the same time another one was slowly destroying part of my pituitary gland.

Remember how I had my own opinion of why this tumor decided to grow rapidly over the past 16 months? Well maybe, just maybe our creator’s grace, power and abundant love used this overlying tumor to grow and therefore protect me from the other one that could have ruptured and things would have ended much differently. Who really knows, but maybe part of my life’s journey and path was going through this process. I have been givin the opportunity to learn from these times of trouble, learn to be positive and share what has kept me going - my Friends, my Family and my trust in the Creator above.

Since the Optic Chiasm is located at the bottom of the brain and immediately below that is the Hypothalamus and Pituitary gland, they only removed as much of the mass as they could to ease the pressure on the brain without causing any additional damage to the hypothalamus and pituitary gland. Additionally, full removal of the mass that was wrapped around my left optic nerve could not be 100% since doing so would cause complete blindness in my left eye. They did however loosen the tumors grip it had on the nerve. After putting the piece of my skull back where it belongs with a bit of Elmer's glue and wall spackling, they stitched me up and let me rest for 5 days at their fine establishment. :)

Am I getting to any type of point in all this gibberish? Yes, it’s coming soon, please be patient.

Needless to say (but here I am saying it anyway) the last couple of years have been a challenge as I encountered various side affects from the damage to the hypothalamus, to the pituitary gland and all the little things that the pituitary gland does for the rest of your body. My surgery wasn’t the typical removal of a pituitary tumor and I have been asked to Go See Doctor Specialist For That Doohickey tumor a few more times since I continue to have problems arise.

A full understanding of this battle would be difficult to explain without you being in my shoes to fully comprehend what all transpires when your pituitary gland, the master gland of your entire endocrine system, doesn’t produce what your body needs daily. I know that many of you can understand and relate to this, especially if you have or had health issues that limit your quality of life, but even I don’t fully understand everything that is happening to me right now. I just know that I’m blessed beyond what I can see in-front of me. Blessings are all around me and at every hour of the day, I’m reminded that this too shall pass. Others are worse off then I, others count far fewer blessings each day then I. I’m truly blessed by my friends, my family and my God.

DAILY ROUTINE

Manual replacement of hormones that my pituitary gland no longer produces. This means thyroid hormones, testosterone, injections for diabetes (side affect from not getting the right hormones to the pancreas), amphetamine stimulants, polyneuropathy medications, more eye drops and the occasional pain meds. ugh! Seriously, I’m not making all this up... there’s more to list here but that would be just silly and sad to list everything. (The rest of this paragraph has been omitted to keep things upbeat and slightly humorous.)

Even with everything that has ensued from day one, I tend to be extremely positive and normally have a smile on my face 90% of the time. (maybe 80%) The remaining amount time is my Hulk Time. What is my Hulk Time you ask? Let’s just say you don’t want to experience my Hulk Time, you wouldn’t like being around me during my Hulk Time.

“Don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry.” ~ Dr. David Banner

Why am I so positive and upbeat? (on the outside) It's because I find that dwelling on the negatives of this entire situation will only make things worse, make me feel worse and bring others around me down. My life is one that wants to share a smile with everyone, not a frown. This is not to say I don't throw a small pity party every once in a while by myself...sorry, this party is by invitation only and you are not on the list.

By the way, I have been told to Go See Doctor Specialist For That Doohickey for this as well and they also said "Go See Doctor Specialist For That Doohickey" so now I'm up to six specialists.

TRANSITION

For the most part, we’ve found a balance in the amount of hormones that I take as well as the amount of medications that keep the body functioning as normal as can be. The biggest issue I battle with is one that I don’t talk about much. I think I may have some silly hangups about what people will think or how I would be viewed as a technical thinker, artistic creator or even question my acquired capacity of intelligence. Oh well, I’ll get over it.

So the biggest issue that continues to bothers me is that my cognitive functions have changed after the partial removal of my tumor(s), and not for the better. It’s my thought process and my ability to multi-task that have severely diminished. I’ve gone from being extremely good at advanced technical processes, project management and theoretical analysis of problematic designs to merely attempting to reply to emails without it taking over hour to provide a simple one paragraph resolution plan. Yeah yeah, I’ve heard the replies to this statement of mine in the form of .. “but you can do things at a high level”.. or .. you can still do things I can’t” or I hear the reply of “your simply getting older Vince, things change”.

Yes, things do change, I’m now 44, I age, I gain and lose wisdom, I need reading glasses and I know that I can function technically on some level, but not at the level I'm accustomed that I had before the surgery. This thought process change is not because of age. It was and is a dramatic change in how I now think, create, work and more. This was like a switch someone turned off in my brain that said... Section closed, no longer in use, please use the detour. It's just that they didn't leave a sign pointing the way over to the new detour for my neurons to follow. This lingering issue about how my brain processes thoughts and channels my creative abilities is the most frustrating for me. Before; I could manage multiple projects at one time and spread my minds resources to keep them all going in the required directions - After; all I can do is one at a time and focusing on that one is a challenge at times. (see memory issues below)

It’s not just this silly need to be technically minded and valued at work, it’s the simple things as well.

The simple pleasures of playing music have changed for me. Playing the piano is a small example of these changes. Mind you, I’m not the greatest of players but I could at least work the keys to make some resemblance of a tune while using both hands. Now my brain seems to stutter when I attempt to use both hands. Songs that I've played for years elude me except if I play one hand at a time. Another example is I've tried to learn the guitar this past year and I could strum the rhythm and create the cords, but never could I use them together at the same time. The best way to describe this is that my brain stutters. Here again, I've been told... " well I can't do that either" , but I once could and now I can't. All in all, my creative thought processes are very hard to manage now and keeping them on track with my new brain drives me insane. :(

WHAT'S NEXT or (What's left)

Besides the thought disorder, there are two remaining issues that have never been figured out.

Memory loss.
Constant ringing in my left ear.

The memory loss is a form of brain stuttering as well (I don’t know any other way to explain it), since some days I can remember the previous day, but then the following day brings no recollection of what transpired on that day. Three or four days later, I can remember what happened on that first day... but then it's gone again in 24 hours. I have also lost much of my memory from 2007 - 2011. What really makes me emotional about this is that those were the years when my daughter was in High School. I look back at pictures of Volleyball games or when I would assist the Lee's Summit North Marching Band with field drills and I build a small memory from the picture itself but have nothing to support that surrounding event or time. It's like my memories are stored in various databases in my brain and connections to them are not always connected.

c:\ping brain.memory.vince.com

Pinging brain.memory.vince.com with 32 bytes of data:

Request timed out.

Ping statistics for brain.memory.vince.com

Packets: Sent = 4, Received = 0, Lost = 4 <100% loss>,

c:\

(LOL, I'm such a nerd)

The ringing I hear in my left ear is terribly annoying at times, it's non stop 24 x 7, every hour I'm awake I can hear it. Right now they are calling it Nonpulsatile Tinnitus. I've had it every since the surgery, maybe even the year before when I had headaches, but over the last 9 months it has become more comparable to someone running a high powered Particle Accelerator in the left side of my brain. This high frequency tone will just not stop and if I cover my ear, it gets louder! The sound is not auditory to anyone else and it's not even in my ear. It's coming from inside my head. And yes, I've been told to Go See Doctor Specialist For That Doohickey for this as well. Been there, done that, have the primary results but I digress.

THE LONG AWAITED UPDATE (And all the readers rejoiced)

While under the care of my latest “Go See Doctor Specialist For That Doohickey”, we've worked together over the last 18 months to get a healthy baseline, find a hormonal balance for my body and make modifications to the other medicines I take to get the best possible mixture for my personal chemistry. With his guidance and the input from Dr. Specialist #3, #5 and and new #7, I began the next steps in figuring out why I think the way I think. (Or NOTthink for that matter)

Those steps started back on November 18, 2011. At that time, I had sent out an update to a small distribution list that described the following plan.

Request some medical leave from my company to:

Gain some mental stability for what procedures I may need to have.
Prepare for potential surgery and/or radiation. (CyberKnife Stereotactic Radiosurgery)
Begin taking an additional medication that would make it difficult to maintain any sort of workload based on its side affects. Nov 18, 2011 to Jan 6, 2012

Have my brain MRI'd and mapped for possible growth/shrinkage.(The tumor, not my brain- I know some of you were thinking it. LOL) Jan 9
Allow the specialists to review the results and determine which path to take. Jan16

Path #1- If the results show the tumor has become smaller, no growth or no additional pressure on the brain. I would have a few hormonal/medicine changes and begin to feel better, or shall I say I would begin to think better. (I said think, not type. My typing skills are no better than a highly trained monkey) It other words, no surgery required but the CyberKnife Stereotactic Radiosurgery could still be in order.

Path #2 - If the results show tumor growth or new pressure on the brain or optic nerves, surgery or the CyberKnife Stereotactic Radiosurgery would be in play.

THE LONG AWAITED UPDATE (Seriously, I mean it this time)

GOOD NEWS! The tumor has not grown and in fact, it may have shrunk a tad. It's 1.3 centimeters which means there's no need for surgery or for any form of radiation. Good news? wait a minute... if this is good news then why are my thought processes, memory issues and that %^%$$#%$%@ ringing still around?

The reason this good news is that we, the Dr.'s and I, have been given and unexpected result that wasn't even on the table before. This unexpected result may come as a shock to some but then again, it may come in the form of one of those AH HA moments. For me, it was indeed an AH HA moment, as it was for my Doc as well. The findings are also good news because it give me an answer, and a real answer is more than I've had so far. So what's this new finding you say? I'm getting to it, keep your undies on.

The tumor, as it is right now, is not the cause of my current thought disorder, delirium, memory issues or ear ringing. The tumor may have been the root cause and still the current cause of my vision changes and headaches, but nothing that I don’t already know of. Yes, I still have a tumor that will eventually grow to the point where additional surgery/radiation will be required, but not for now. It’s a very slow growing tumor and I will continue to have it monitored with yearly MRI’s yearly and my left eye evaluated every six months. The doc states that it may be 10 years or more before we need to visit that course of action. So for the care and maintenance of the tumor side of things, we're going to stay on the current course of action and give my body what it needs to function properly do to the partial functioning pituitary gland.

THE FINDINGS

All I've gone through, all the tests, all the scans and all the little green alien probing that I've had, all point to one thing, a Stroke. I may have noticed changes to my thought process before and after the surgery for the tumor but the latest findings show this was not the only reason. The results showed that a loss of blood has occurred to that area of the brain (hypothalamus and above) at some point in time. This loss could have been from the blood vessel that was in the underlying tumor, it could have happened before the surgery or this could have happened shortly after surgery at some point. It's very hard to tell the timing of this since these are micro vessels and not something that can easily be pinned down. There is also a theory that my ear ringing could be a symptom of the micro vessel stroke, but I will need to Go See Doctor Specialist For That Doohickey to get more info on that.

A stroke is simply a loss of blood to an area of the brain and it can happen rather quickly, as short as a few seconds can cause damage. That area of the brain dies and current technology can't bring it back. Just as in the game of golf, once you take a stroke, you can’t take it back. A stroke is a stroke, no medications, no surgery will bring that area back to life once a loss of blood has happened. BUT!! :) The brain is a marvelous organ that can adapt and learn new ways of thinking and new ways to channel those thought processes. With the right training and learning, the brain can build a new synapse super highway to overcome these blocked areas.

I PRESENT TO YOU - PATH #3

Working with my Endocrinologist and my Neurophysiologist, we're going to kick start my neurons and get them back to my 150 IQ or close to it. (I'll settle for 120) We're going to add HGH to the hormone mix because brain cells react to human growth hormone more that any other type of cell. (Other than fetal cells and I have no more of those) HGH may also provide healing to the hypothalamus as well. The benefit of this being in my system as I work to re-train my brain is two fold since it will stimulate the brain cells and provide that extra boost for growth of new synapse super highways to ADAPT & OVERCOME! Sempre Fi!

When you step back and look at the big picture, this is indeed good news. I look forward to 2012 and to my forth coming adventure with my Neurophysiologist. I start meeting with him on March 15th, and begin my HGH sometime near the end of February.
For now, I'm going back to work and will so my best to think technically and at a level to which IBM deserve's of me. I may complain here or there about my pay or my position level but IBM has been there for me during this entire process and I'm lucky to have a job with such a great company. Does this mean I won't complain about things anymore? .... No. :)

The bottom line is:

Prayer is always answered!
I still have a smile! (most of the time)
Things could be worse.
I love my friends, family and my lord &savior!
I'm still here, you can’t get rid of me! :)

**Neurophysiologist: Is just a fancy way of saying Psychological Brain Acumen of the Theoretical Comprehensiveness of the Conscious Intelligence.

I provide the following for your viewing pleasure, as well as adding some extra content so that I can enter this blog post to Guinness Book Of World Records for longest blog post ever!
(The video has no hidden reference to my brain's Jekyll & Hyde situation... yeah right) ;)

Music is the sound of feelings

2012-01-12T13:29:00.000-08:00

Music can actually touch you from a thousand miles away. ~TerrazaByte

Stop... it's MRI Time!

2012-01-09T06:18:00.000-08:00

Put on my hammer pants...........................CHECK
Prep for the Funky Cold Medina IV..........CHECK
Bring 80's Flash back CD ........................CHECK

STOP! It's MRI Time! :)

YATXFV2FMP2A

Would you like to play a Game?

2011-11-14T07:32:00.001-08:00

I am Facebook.
Facebook I am.

That Facebook-I-am,
That Facebook-I-am
I do not like that facebook-I-am

Do you want to play my Games?

I do not play them Facebook-I-am
I do not play your games or spam.

Not on a train, Not in a tree.
Not in a car, Facebook, Let me be!
I would not, could not, in a box.
I could not, would not, with a fox.
I will not play them with a mouse
I will not play them in a house.
I will not play them here or there.
I will not play them anywhere.
I do not play them, Facebook-I-am.
I do not play your games or spam.

by Vince T (with help from the Dr.)

Cat In The Hat - No, make that Cat In The Pants

2011-11-12T08:31:00.001-08:00

Rule number 23.4 - Bathroom Chapter - Close the door. The main reason for the rule is for privacy. Apperently, Cats don't follow these rules. If I don't ensure that the door fully closes, Chai thinks this is an invite to build a hiding fort in my PJ's.

And yes, those ARE flaming hot chili pepper PJ's !
And yes, I'm writing this from the "seated" position. :) TMI!

Have a great weekend!

Ooh-rah that Lock! Semper Fi!

2011-11-10T09:36:00.001-08:00

During our move, I came across this lock. This lock has been with me since I was 18 and I still remember the combo. You'll notice that the ring on there is shackled within the lock. This lock and this ring go together in a way. The lock is from my foot locker when I was at MCRD San Diego for USMC boot camp. The ring is my graduation ring and the rest is a long sorted story. :)

Happy Birthday Fellow Jarheads. Semper Fi !

and

Ooh-rah! to all the veterans out there. Happy Veterans Day!

Backup Your Data!

2011-10-18T06:44:00.000-07:00

I'm often asked by friends about computers and what would help speed up their system. The answer is Memory followed by processor, followed by disk speed. However, the most important thing you can do for your computer is to BACK IT UP. Without a good backup, you could have the best & fastest system in the world but it would be all for naught if something happens (and it will) and you lose your data.

Backup your data! (pictures, videos, files, music, precious moments)

This public service announcement brought to you by Vince the backup King! (I was once the court jester and lost tons of data but no more)

Cool Tech Gadget (Toy) of the Week!

2011-08-25T20:31:00.000-07:00

I bet if the Galactic Empire had this cool little gadget, those Death Star plans would have never been stolen!

Last week I went to the candy store (Microcenter in Overland Park, KS) and as I was searching for geeky enhancements to maintain my fetish for tech gadgets, I came across this MUST HAVE device.

Yes indeedy sweetie, there was no question that this little baby was coming home with daddy! Not only does it cover rule #1 : Item must provide functional technology to enhance the computing environment, it also covers the Extra Credit Rule #23.s.alpha : Item is infused with the STAR WARS brand (double extra points for being a Stormtrooper).

I normally don't blog about my tech toys but this one was a must share since it scores high on the super nerdy scale.

This one is only a 2 GB USB Flash Drive but who cares about the storage when it's a STORMTROOPER!
They also have versions of Darth, Boba Fett and the rebel scum Yoda.

Here are some action shots of the product in use.

"Hello fellow mini Stormtrooper, your helmet is a tad crooked. Let me help you out with that."

"OMG! I ripped your little head off!"

"No problem, we'll just use you to hide our super secret Death Star plans in."

Connections - A New Song From Indigenous Sounds, Vince Terrazas

2011-08-22T20:41:00.000-07:00

Back in late July, I started working on a new song and had the general feeling of what I wanted to produce but it lacked any real feeling and had no voice to it. I was basically stuck and really had the idea in my brain to just give up on this piece and wait for inspiration.

Right about that time I was contacted by a good friend of mine, Laurence Simon (Crap Mariner in Second Life). He finally let me in on something his family had been dealing with and in fact, he gave me a hint to this secret a couple of weeks prior but wasn't able to divulge the information yet. All he said back then was that it was something I could relate to.

Once he told me that his sister, Beth Odets-Brown (also a Second Lif'er and performer) has a brain tumor that medication and other non-intrusive methods have not been able to slow the process of cell growth, I understood. He explained that a risky and experimental surgery was going to be her best path to take.

Right then and there, that song I was working on popped into my head. I don't know why, it just did and I knew I wanted to express something through this song about this "connection" that Beth and I now have.

My brain surgery was 2 1/2 years ago and where my tumors were physically under my brain (pituitary tumors) with one pushing up into my brain, Beth's surgery will be much more intense and risky.

Her surgery is today and I want to send this song out to her, her family, first life friends, Second Life friends and to all those that are "connected" by surgery of the brain.

Updated MP3 players! 8/23/11
Click this play button! Connections by Indigenous Sounds, Vince Terrazas
To download this mp3, just right click on the link and select "Save Link As.."

If your browser wont allow you to use the above java player, try this embedded one.
Connections by Indigenous Sounds, Vince Terrazas

And just to show you how wonderful Second Life people really are, a fellow SL musician, Seth Regan / Mankind Tracer, put together this Facebook Event which spurred this Beth's Brain donation page. You see, before Beth could even schedule this much needed surgery, she needed to come up with 1500 and thus, her friends stepped in and withing in hours, that amount was covered. What's really amazing is that the love continued and now over $15,000.00 has been raised! Can a brother get an AMEN! :)

This song is free to download, but I urge you to donate to Beth's cause and if you say to yourself... "Hey? , I don't know this person", then go to the National Brain Tumor Society and donate, learn, support ect.

I would be remiss if I didn't mention that this hits me harder than usual and is very emotional for me. I lost a very good friend just a couple months ago to this and watched his battle with a brain tumor from afar. Mike lived in Colorado Springs and its been since then that we last spoke... that was over 8 years ago. When I found out he had a cancerous brain tumor a couple of years ago, I was just finding out about mine. For some reason, I didn't want to say anything or contact him thinking I would be trying to compare the tumors. Yes, I know this was stupid of me and should not of stopped me. I kept worrying about him, knowing that my tumors were not as life threatening as his, I didn't want to add to his worry trying to explain what I had going on. I'm not sure exactly what was going on in my head but I lost the chance to speak to him and to let him know that he made a difference in my life. Well obviously, this is a subject for another post or some professional therapy on my part. So that is all I will say about this. Miss you Mike.

T7SDXEGZKGZT

The 100 Word Stories Podcast Weekly Challenge - WILD

2011-08-21T21:22:00.001-07:00

Weekly Challenge Topic- WILD

Weekly Challenge #269 - Topic: Read

Title - The Butterfly Effect

Our planet Earth supports 6.7 billion human lives, each one unique and completely different.

Our Sun is one of an estimated 200 to 400 billion other stars in our galaxy, each one unique and completely different.

Our Milky Way galaxy is merely one of the estimated 500 billion galaxies in our universe, each one unique and completely different.

When trying to comprehend this wild and astronomical vision of the world around us, remember that from the universe down to the world we may be seen as one person, but to one person out there we may be their world.

Elvis Has Left The Building - August 16, 1977

2011-08-16T10:24:00.000-07:00

During our young adult life, there are moments that we remember that were caused by tragedy. In my parents generation, it was the shooting of John F Kennedy on November 22, 1963. In my generation, it was the explosion of the Space Shuttle Challenger on January 28, 1986. In my daughters generation, it was the horrific sight of watching two jet airliners deliberately crashing into the World Trade Center on September 11, 2001.

For me, there is one other moment that stands out in my mind and in no way do I compare this to any other tragedy, but nonetheless, it's a moment of loss that I remember growing up.

The loss of the King, Elvis Aaron Presley died on this day, 34 years ago. I was 9 years old and remember the stories and people talking about Elvis. I remember my mother playing his records on Saturday mornings. She would also play an album from Vincente Fernandez that still hunts me LOL. (just kidding)

Elvis, if you're reading this, I've invited you to my Google+ circles... please accept.

1. U.S. singer and actor Elvis Presley sits in a restaurant wearing his Army uniform in this undated 1958 file photo. (Getty Images)

2. Elvis Presley stands backstage in a concert venue in this Jan. 1, 1970, file photo. (Fotos International/Getty Images)

3. U.S. rock n' roll singer and actor Elvis Presley sits and holds hands with his bride, Priscilla Presley, on their wedding day in Las Vegas in this undated file photo. (Hulton Archive/Digital Stock)

4. Rock n' roll singer Elvis Presley with his wife, Priscilla Presley, and their 4-day-old daughter, Lisa Marie Presley, in this Feb. 5, 1968, file photo in Memphis, Tenn. (Michael Ochs Archives/Getty Images)

5. U.S. actor and singer Elvis Presley is seen dancing in a stylized prison uniform in a promotional portrait for director Richard Thorpe's film "Jailhouse Rock" in this undated 1957 file photo. (Michael Ochs Archives/Getty Images)

6. Elvis Presley performing live onstage at "Aloha From Hawaii" concert while wearing a white jumpsuit in this Jan. 14, 1973, file photo. (RB/Redferns/Getty Images)

7. U.S. musician and actor Elvis Presley singing and playing the piano during a recording session for RCA in this undated 1956 file photo. (Hulton Archive/Getty Images)

8. My personal hot line to the king :) (picture taken in my office)

9. Rock n' roll musician Elvis Presley performing on the Elvis comeback TV special in this June 27, 1968, file photo. (Michael Ochs Archives/Getty Images)

10. A young Elvis Presley is seen in this undated 1940s file photo. (RB/Redferns/Getty Images)

11. Elvis Presley is seen in a studio portrait in this Jan. 1, 1950, file photo. (GAB Archive/Redferns/Getty Images)

12. Elvis Presley, with girlfriend Linda Thompson, arrives at the hotel after his concert in this March 21, 1976, file photo. (Tom Wargacki/WireImage/Getty Images)

14. Police officers on motorcycles escort a white hearse containing the body of U.S. rock n' roll singer Elvis Presley as it heads toward the funeral past crowds of people who line the streets to watch, Memphis, Tenn., Aug. 18, 1977. (Fotos International/Getty Images)

T7SDXEGZKGZT

100 Word Stories - Weekly Challenge #268 Toxic

2011-06-11T21:57:00.000-07:00

Weekly Challenge #268 - Topic: Toxic click the play button or the link to listen to the story

Putrid… that’s the only word that describes the stench that enveloped my nostrils that day.
For each and every breath I took, a bit more of that toxic aroma filled my olfactory and overwhelmed my nerves. I became unbalanced as my knees began to shake and give way. My vision flickered and proceeded to close in from all sides as if some tiny being was slowly walking from the back of my brain to the front, turning off the lights in each section and closing the door.

Light became dark, dark became comfort. Rescued was I, from Aunt Agatha’s meatloaf.

______________________________________

What is the 100 Word Stories Weekly Challenge? Click here to find out "HERE" :)

Random Pic of the Day - My Plecostomus

2011-06-06T09:48:00.001-07:00

Random Pic of the Day - My Plecostomus, a photo by ~TerrazaByte~ on Flickr.

It's not just a loss of a pet... it's a loss of a friend. Tiko 2000-2011

2011-04-26T12:20:00.000-07:00

Two months ago, Tiko was feeling fine and he was his normal lovable and goofy self. This dog has always been on the silly side of things even with his intimidating stare and rugged appearance. He had been the consummate friend for all in this household, he even tolerated the cats. Two months... that was it, that's all we had from the first seizure to the diagnosis of a brain tumor and ultimately to his passing.

We all grieve differently and in my way, I choose to celebrate his life. It's not about the loss but about the blessings he brought to those that had the opportunity to get to know him. As with certain humans that you meet in life that affect you positively or those that make you a better person for knowing them, this is how it was with this member of the canine family. He was my bud.

The hardest part is not his passing, but in knowing when to pick up the now extra food bowl.

Cherie Parker of the Second Life photography studio, Exclusive Studios, has created a magazine cover for the real world publication of Stuff

2011-03-15T12:57:00.000-07:00

In the world of Second Life, Cherie Parker, owner of Exclusive Studios has been creating top quality Second Life photos for over 3 years. In 2009, Cherie was selected by Modavia Fashion Marketing as Second life’s Fashion Photographer of the Year and continues to be featured in numerous Second Life publications. Magazine covers are a prized recognition for photographers and Cherie has created exceptional covers for some of SL’s best magazines.

As of March 2011, Cherie can add to her resume, the accomplishment of creating a cover for the real world publication of Stuff magazine (Turkish Edition). She captured and created an eye catching cover that’s in perfect form with other monthly covers from non-pixelated photographers. She skillfully formed this photo with the Second Life viewer and post production tools.

Stuff magazine is primarily focused in the area of gadgets, gear and technology. According to Haymarket, the media company that owns Stuff, the target audience is geared to men in their 20’s and 30’s with an attraction to “the shiny things in life”

Haymarket’s gadget magazine, Stuff, has become one of the most recognisable magazines on the rack.
As well as being the fastest-growing monthly men’s magazine in the UK, Stuff has numerous established international editions, reaching more than a million readers per month throughout the world.
Through the website, Stuff can bring its unique blend of gadgets, gear and wry humour to a truly global audience. ~Haymarket Media Group

Congratulations Cherie!

Take a look at Cherie’s SL Flickr stream at: Flickr - Cherie Parker
Visit her in-world Photo Studio at: Exclusive Studios - Photos by Cherie Parker

Music I should have appreciated more when I was young.

2011-02-24T07:09:00.000-08:00

I'm sitting here this morning building a small test environment with a Win2008 as the primary and an attached Win2003 acting as the domain controller. I'm feeling really good that my brain is recalling some sort of memory and intelligence at this moment.

In order to complete technical tasks, I find it necessary to listen to some cool music in the background. It helps my thoughts for some reason and I just tend to work with more focus and achieve the results quicker.

I'm listing to a band that I grew up with but never fully appreciated the raw talent, the lyrics and the meaning behind some of these songs. The band I speak of is Pink Floyd.

Here are a few YouTube clips of some acoustic versions of their songs. Simply wonderful tunes to get my geek on! Enjoy

The 100 Word Stories Weekly Challenge!

2011-02-20T16:28:00.000-08:00

photo from Laurence Simon's Flickr

Are you breathing? Do you have a heartbeat? Then I've got a challenge for you! Actually a friend of mine has put forth this challenge to anyone that can type, record and email. His name is Laurence Simon and he has been producing the 100 Word Stories podcast for over 4 years where he writes and records a daily story composed of exactly 100 words. This form of extremely short fiction is known as a Drabble.

Each week he invites anyone willing to write a story based on a selected theme. You don't even need to be a professional writer or a master of grammar. Heck, just look at some of mine and you'll clearly see they accept pre-school level writing. All you have to do is write it, record it (preferably) and email it in before midnight each Saturday. He then compiles them each Sunday into one recording for your listening/reading pleasure. Once you've heard them all, you get to vote for the one you liked the best.

One of my 2011 New Year's Resolution is that I will write & record a story for each weekly challenge. All my stories will be posted here on my blog but I request that you click on over to 100 Word Stories and listen to all the entries for the week and then vote for ~~mine~~ your favorite. :)

This last weeks topic was "Paris" & "Quality Control". Next weeks topic is "In My Happy Place". Come join us on this challenge to create some interesting, funny, odd and delightful short fiction. I'm 8 for 8 so far this year in my quest to produce a story for each Weekly Challenge.

-> Link to all my 2011 100 Word Stories

DON"T YOU DO IT! Picture of the day

2011-02-17T07:57:00.000-08:00

Don't you dare mess with my Fung Shway sand garden!! Luckily he didn't leave me any nuggets of love. He just wanted to come lay on my keyboard. DOH!

I'm going NAKED today! @ Naked Acoustic Sessions at Living Room #13

2011-02-09T07:19:00.000-08:00

photo curiosity of http://suzenjuel.com/

Naked Acoustic Sessions at Living Room #13

Hosted by the amazing & talented lyrical sultress... JueL Resistance

When:Wed Feb 9th (pacific standard time/ Second Life time)

1:30pm Fricker Fraker (aka Vince Terrazas) Native American Flute
2pm Idella Quandry...Blues with a twist of WOW
2:30 TerryLynn Melody Mixin' in the Groove of Blues with the style of Soul
3pm Morton Shamen! . raw and bare FolK Ah Lishus AcoustiC
4pm DanLange Diavolo BluES with a heavy delta twist

Where to hear this line up:
Living Room #13 in Second Life or on the live player at suzenjuel.com

Naked Acoustic Sessions is proudly in it's 5th year of promoting and sharing the Original songs and stories of great songwriters/performers… Naked Acoustics Encourages Mostly Original Material, but Covers pertaining to your influence and story, are allowed. We have had many of the greats in Second Life perform on the Living Room #13 stage, such as Native American Flute with Fricker Fracker. Noma Falta and her strong and wonderful blues/acoustic….Jeremy Gilchrist a fantastic folk performer with amazing stories and style. We've had Alicia Morgan aka Idella Quandry, Big Daddy Blues Tone Uriza and many many more…. Always looking forward to each Wed of Naked Acoustics..YOU can Also find us on Facebook

The Treadmil is NOT a Clothes Hanger!

2011-01-31T11:22:00.000-08:00

Weight loss update! Holding firm at 17.2% of my goal reached. I caught a nasty cold at the beginning of the week and was unable to eat properly or do much of anything besides walk around in a daze with a box of tissues.

I guess it's good that I didn't gain anything over this period because the only thing that gave me comfort was Vanilla Ice Cream! :)

I feel so much better now and I'm back to my normal routine of walking in the morning on the treadmill. Need to stop using it to hang clothes on and USE it!

The song above is what I was listening to this morn. One of the best songs on YouTube! Gulf by Jack Conte.

Indigenous Sounds - Emergence

2011-01-27T20:42:00.000-08:00

Free Download! Emergence by Vince Terrazas aka TerrazaByte
Right click and "Save Link As.."

This is a remastered version of recording I did a couple of years back. I purchased some new recording equipment and an MacMini and was able to add a nice base track and clean up the original. Enjoy!

The photography stills used in this video were taken by Ronda Kimbrow and are used with her permission. Please visit her Flickr page at: http://www.flickr.com/photos/rondakimbrow/

I'll post new songs here and archive them for quick access on the MY MUSIC page on this blog.

2011: A Snow Odyssey

2011-01-24T17:15:00.000-08:00

This is a short video of a artistically challenged art build that I created on my home parcel of Piper Point. It's a small tribute to the ingenious mind of Stanley Kubrick.
Inspired by the movie, 2001: A Space Odyssey. To this day, I still don't fully understand that movie but each time I view it, I come away with different insights about man and his existence.

What do you see or "get" out of watching my odd creation? Let me know in the comments.

What you see will be different from person to person and if you don't get anything out of it except for the loss of 3 minuets of your life, then consider yourself one of the extra special people. Fyi - All extra special people must watch it again. :)

My Weight Loss Update!

2011-01-23T13:35:00.000-08:00

My Grandpa & Grandma

Whew! What a busy start of the year for me at work and at home. I have attempted to post an update on my battle of the bulge but I was either under the weather physically or mentally drained. The good news is that my goal to become healthier is continuing and I'm starting to see results already.

When I first started this 2011 resolution to lose 25% of my body weight, I wasn't sure about telling you how much I actually weigh. Call it embarrassment or pure shallowness of thinking how you would view me after knowing how large I really am. I'm not sure why my mind works the way it does when it come to this, but I am here to tell you "I am what I am, and that's all that I am.Take it or leave it. :)

There were a couple of factors that helped me reached my highest weight ever at the beginning of 2010. (387 lbs) First and foremost was that I just didn't take care of myself in any way. Second... I was under some thyroid and pituitary medicines that helped balance my hormones after my pituitary tumor removal in 09. In either case, all I did was watch my weight go up and up and up and my energy go down down down.

About half way through 2010, I really started to think about my future and how I would not even see it if I continued living the way I was. In my family, we have an history of heart issues and I knew that if changes were not made and made soon, I would never see my daughter graduate college in 2014/15.

My grandfather died from a heart attack when I was 8 back in 1975 and my father had his first heart attack in 1994 when he was 52. My father went through many procedures to clear out his arteries and also endured a 6 way bypass. He has really turned it around and just recently turned 69 and is healthier than ever. I love you Grandpa and I love you Dad!

When I turn 44 this December, I WILL reach my goal of not only losing weight, but extending my life for the better. Time to put away the shovel that has been digging my grave and pick up the spoon that will fill my body with healthy foods and exercise, exercise, exercise!

OK, enough rambling.. Here is the update and my starting weight info. Started off at 371 on January 1st and during week 1, I managed to lose 9 lbs. I think most of that was the Christmas goodies I consumed the week before and I was just getting rid of the junk in my system.

2 lbs the next week and then 5 more this past week! I'm at 17% of my total goal! I know this will get harder and harder as the year creeps along but I am committed to living a longer more healthier life.

Goofy Me & My Goofy Dad!

(that also runs in the family)

I had a talk with my Doctor and let him know about this weight loss plan and he highly suggested I re-evaluate my goal. He feels that losing 93 lbs by December will be to much and I should set my goal to reach the 200's (299 lbs)which would be around 20% total weight loss. Not sure If I want to change my goal or not to please the doctors. They are not always right LOL. I'll have to think about it. What do you think?

Many thanks go out to those that have sent updates on your own battle with weight loss, tips for a health life and encouragement!

It Has Begun & Weight Loss Tip #1

2011-01-01T20:58:00.000-08:00

It has begun. The weekly weigh-in and resolution on becoming a healthier me! I weighed in, so what... now what do I do? My goal is to lose 25% of my weight as of today and I won't achieve that by just weighing-in. I need to take the advice of others and CHANGE my habits of eating and exercising. I've never had a problem with eating but it was what, when and how I was eating it.

Plenty of food along with the wonderful side affects of having a pituitary tumor affect hormone levels in my thyroid, brought me to an all time high on the scales in 2010. I did manage to lose 30 lbs at one point in the year but half of that crept back on to my body by the year end.

As for exercising, I had to rely on my word processor to show me the right way to even spell the nasty word. I do remember what the inside of a gym looks like but lets just say I wasn't on the frequent visitor plan.

I should state that losing 25% of my body weight will not be harmful since I'm the weight of your average 2 year old water buffalo. You need to evaluate your own body if you're trying to lose a few pounds here or there and not take my blog posts as an exact prescription for you. Use it as a reference guide of what I find to work for myself and how you can adjust some of the ideas to work for you.

Tip #1 - It's a Lifestyle Change
Diets are not long term and the word itself should be stricken from the English language. Diets are a temporary solution and thus; the weight you lose will become temporary as well. For myself, I need to step into this as a new way of thinking, eating and exercising. Wait, scratch that last statement... saying a "new way of exercising" would imply that I currently do that. DOH! I need to think and eat differently and begin a exercise plan. :)

I'm starting off slow since this is long term and even a marathon runner doesn't start his race at 100%. I also have to face the facts... I'm huge and unhealthy, so I just can't slap on some running shoes and run to the lake 3 miles away. You would find me hugging the the light pole 5 blocks down gasping for oxygen and doing my Redd Foxx impression "Elizabeth? I'm coming to join ya" (Google it) LOL

My New Year's Resolution - Weight Loss

2010-12-30T16:51:00.000-08:00

Many of us battle with carrying around a few extra pounds, especially around this time of year. Thanksgiving gives us the jab jab of Sugar Ray Leonard and then Christmas comes along with the right hook of Mohammad Ali.

Like many, I didn't eat like a butterfly or drink like a bee. I became one with my fork and knife and cut my way through the dishes as if I were bulking up for the World Super Duper Extra Heavyweight Boxing Title.

After weighing in for the tale of the tape and seeing half of what I lost in 2010 back on my body, I sent a status to my Facebook friends.

"New Year's resolution time. - I'm going to lose 25% of my body fat by Dec 6th, 2011. I'm putting it here to remind me and to say it publicly so I can't back down on it."

So for this year, I'm going to track my progress and post updates to help push myself by way of embarrassment or something that will hold myself accountable to the statement. (A public decree for all to see).

There's so much more to just saying the words.. "I will lose weight", so I created a Weight Loss Tracker spreadsheet to help provide a visual perspective on my progress. I've also researched many sources to find ideas to modify my eating habits, not only for weight loss, but for a healthier way of living. You see, this is not a "diet", this needs to be a new way of living everyday.

I'll share out this spreadsheet from my downloads page if you would like to use it and track your progress as well. I would love to hear about your victories, ideas, food recipes and exercises that you're using to help reach your goals. Replies to these weekly weight loss posts or direct emails to terrazabyte@gmail.com will be greatly appreciated.

Let me explain how this spreadsheet works...

I created this to help put focus on the % (percentage) of weight loss and not the lbs. This makes it more comfortable to share your progress with others since all you need to tell them is the % that you've lost so far and how close you are towards reaching your goal.

The worksheet does all the work for you. Just do the following and you're good to go!

Enter your "Starting Weight" in cell B2
Enter the weight you'd like to reach in cell B3
Enter in your weight every Saturday in the gray/grey box next to the date
That's it!

The formulas in the worksheet do all the rest and provide you with a nice visual of your progress.

Share this with your friends if you like and let me know if I screwed up on the formulas anywhere. I'm not an expert in Excel but I checked it over like Santa Clause... twice. (btw - I've been on the naughty list for years)

Check back here every week to see my progress and for tips on a healthier way of living! My first weigh-in day is this Saturday January 1st.

Larissa's Home! & Allie Goes Crazy

2010-12-16T09:48:00.000-08:00

This is how crazy Allie gets when Larissa comes back home from college. Normally Tiko (the Husky) would join in on the festivities but there was something interesting in his food dish.

The Wonders of Second Life - Happy Holidays!

2010-12-14T08:56:00.000-08:00

The WOSL is usually associated with a monthly YouTube video that I started doing for Scruplz Publications a couple of months ago. The medium focuses on things in Second Life that showcase the worst of; or to be more precise, the things that I find to be the worst of or annoying in SL. After doing this for a few months and constantly searching for the negative aspects of Second Life, I tend to lose sight of the beauty and positive things that are right there in front of me on my computer screen every day.

So for this post, the acronym WOSL shall not stand for The Worst of Second Life. Today I’ll shall make it stand for… The Wonders of Second Life.

My first thoughts in creating this post were to write about the many wondrous places and sims that I’ve visited over the last four years as a resident. ~Nah, that’s been done.

I then thought about writing a creative post about the elegant dance clubs or the simple far off rarely visited dance pavilions that I’ve danced the night away in the arms of beautiful redhead. ~Nope, that’s for another post.

I could have written about the incredible voices and musicians that I’ve had the pleasure of listening to in Second Life. My life has been enriched by getting to know some of these fantastic artists as well as finding that unknown gem that sings like an angle. With the added visuals of this virtual world of Second life, it’s almost like being right there in the front row at the real life venue.

After sitting here with no words on my page and a million thoughts in my head about the Second Life wonders I’ve experienced. The more I became overwhelmed with how will I express what I find amazing about this crazy world made of prims, textures and scripts.

And then it hit me… Indeed SL is made of prims, textures and scripts, but that’s not all. There in my thoughts, a reoccurring theme was in everything that I was thinking about. There was this thread that tied them altogether. SL is not just about the content, but it’s about this thread.

Ok, if I’ve lost you, let me try and explain.

If you can, visualize this thread as if it’s looped in a circle. And on this circle you will find many tied knots spread out evenly on the thread. Each of these knots represents a special event or moment in my time as an avatar.

These knots are memorable in-world creations, musical performances, artistic expressions or simply any moment in time that was captured in my mind as one that stood out.

The thread in-between the knots that bind all these moments together represents the friends I’ve come to know, respect and love. It’s YOU that make SL wonderful! It’s these friends that make SL what it is, not the prims, not the textures and not those lag inducing scripts.

It’s my friends in Second life that tie it altogether.

My friends are the true WONDER OF SECOND LIFE!

p.s. Isn’t it ironic that in this virtual world of bits and bytes that the true Wonder of Second Life is not in technology but in the humanity. You’ve become RL friends, you’ve touched me inside with your posts, your twitters, your plurks or just a drive by hello. All of you have inspired me to become a better person in Second Life as well as in First Life. Happy Holidays!

Use your chopsticks! Chopsticks like you've never heard them before

2010-12-06T08:26:00.000-08:00

Imperial Motivation from your friendly Mini Stormtrooper!

2010-12-03T08:35:00.000-08:00

Imperial Motivation from your friendly Mini Stormtrooper!

SLenanigans

2010-08-11T12:01:00.000-07:00

SLenanigans

Pronunciation: \shlahə-ˈna-ni-gəns\
Function: noun
Etymology: origin unknown
Date: 2003

a: tricky or questionable practices or conduct in Second Life
b: high-spirited or mischievous activity in Second Life